Leaders Need Boundaries Too

This post was originally published on September 3, 2020, on Instagram as part of Her Growth Collective.

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Boundaries have been on my mind a lot this week even before I realized it was tonight’s topic. Largely because it feels like we have moved into a new phase of working from home where boundaries have flown out the window.

When parts of the country first started working from home in March there was a strong an intentional push from many leaders to articulate the importance of setting and respecting boundaries between one’s work life and personal life. There was an outpouring of understanding that anxiety levels were at an all time high. Leaders clearly communicated that employees should take a lunch break, go for a walk, do what they need to do to live an integrated life. Boundary setting in this environment was easy.

The transition is now behind us. Employees and employers alike have largely adjusted to the idea that this pandemic will be with us for quite some time. While business has not exactly returned to normal, a lot of the performance expectations have. We have grown more comfortable with digital tools and we now have multiple apps on our phones going ding every time someone emails or messages us on Slack.

Leaders who have failed to maintain their own boundaries are now encroaching on the boundaries they wisely encouraged their teams to put in place only a few months back. This has a snowball effect. When leaders at the top fail to respect their own boundaries, or the boundaries of those below them, the pressure to be always on and always working ripples down throughout an organization. In this context boundaries become even more important... and maintaining them becomes increasingly uncomfortable.

I have heard from many people at different organizations that this is where we are in September. Anxiety is once again building, but the leadership around boundaries is not what it was in March. So what do we do?

First, if you are a leader you must define boundaries for yourself and manage up to maintain them for your own sake and as the first line of defense for your team. I will never tell you not to email or message people after 5:00. That advice ignores millions of working parents who are trying to live an integrated life and may need to respond outside of normal business hours (especially with virtual school starting in so many places!). However, it does mean that you should set clear guidelines with your team regarding your expectations for late night emails and messages so that they can disconnect to maintain their boundaries. Make it clear how you will contact your team should an urgent situation arise (like calling or texting) and trust that any other communication will be replied to at their earliest availability. Whenever possible, clearly communicate deadlines so that your expectations are well known.

If you are the team member, embrace the awkward conversation. Do so with grace and humility and always be respectful, but you must maintain your own boundaries. This means practicing self-restraint so you don’t run off and check your email or messages every time you hear a ding. It means that if you have to work late one night you take off early another day or week to regain balance. It means gently educating those around you about your workplace preferences and working with them to find win-win solutions.

If you don’t respect your boundaries, then no one else will either.

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This post is written in partnership with #HerGrowthCollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.