Failing Builds Resiliency
This post was originally published on July 9, 2020, on Instagram as part of Her Growth Collective.
This week #hergrowthcollective is focused on resiliency. It's one of my favorite topics and an area I have really focused on in my own self-development.⠀
Merriam-Webster defines resilience as "an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change". What this definition implies is failure. If you need to recover it means that somewhere along the way something went wrong. It might not have been your fault. It might have been completely out of your control. But it still went south.⠀
Or, maybe the responsibility for failure lies squarely on your own shoulders. Those are the worst... ⠀
If you are anything like me, the failure hurts. I mean, of course it hurts - let's be real here. ⠀
And yet, failure trauma is often self-inflicted after the fact. It's the downward spiral of hurtful and negative comments on a 24/7 loop in my head. Do I get this hung up on other people's failures? OF COURSE NOT!!! This dark special is reserved for just me.⠀
Over the years I have learned that my downward spirals are often triggered by faulty assumptions. I assume that because other things come easily to me this should too. I assume that life should be more good and less bad. I assume that hard work is enough to achieve success. I assume that where there is a will there is a way.
Sometimes these things are true; they are never true 100% of the time.⠀
When I take the time to identify and re-examine the assumption, then the fallacy becomes clear. And that, my friend, is where the learning happens.⠀
You can't learn and grow in the spin cycle. Centripetal force takes over and you lose all control. Focus on your mindset, regain control of your thoughts and emotions, and the rest will start to fall back into place. ⠀
And for heaven's sake, start by re-benchmarking your expected failure rate. If we all expected to fail a little more, we would be far less triggered when we do. ⠀
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This post is written in partnership with #HerGrowthCollective, encouraging women to walk the path of self-development together.
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